This series of short blog posts will focus on the individual STUFF gears. There are 5 official “gears”… but when you implement STUFF you can have as many or as few as you like.
If you’re new to STUFF here’s where to catch up…
Okay so the first Gear we’ll begin with is U. Usual.
You might think we’d start with S. But the STUFF gears are not about leveling up or progressing. They’re about coping and managing. And before you know if things are “harder than usual” you need to know what usual is.
Your Usual gear is… what’s usual for you. And that can and does change over time. What’s Usual for me when my husband is away is not Usual for me when he’s home.
What’s Usual for you might look like someone else’s Treading Water. Or someone else’s Survival. That’s okay. Think about what’s Usual for you and try not to judge yourself for it (that’s the hardest part for me).
You probably already have a set of things you expect of yourself. You might have it written down in a to-do list app or a bullet journal. It might just be a vague set of judgements in your head about how your house should be tidier and you should be able to manage.
If you can… I’d like you to write down as much as you can of all the things you feel like you should be able to get done on a typical day.
Now I’d like you to rewrite that list. Tell your jerk brain to take a walk and now only write down the things you actually do.
You don’t have to tell me or show anyone. It’s okay if you feel ashamed about it – it’s hard enough to deal with feeling ashamed without doubling up and judging yourself for that.
But that list of things you actually typically normally do on a usual day? That’s your Usual. For now! I know when I feel less shitty about what I actually do manage to do I actually start to manage a few of those other things too.
Next up? The two Fs.
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